Yes, it’s real — and surprisingly accurate.
Ever met someone and instantly felt something about them — but couldn’t explain why?
That gut instinct?
It’s not magic.
It’s your brain picking up on micro-signals: subtle cues that reveal how someone sees the world, how they treat others, and what drives them.
Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator and author of Captivate, says:
“You don’t have to be a mind reader. You just have to be a people decoder.”
So if you want to get better at understanding people fast — here’s your cheat sheet.
10 seconds. That’s all it takes.
🧠 1. The Eyes: Are They Engaged or Scanning?
Look for:
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Soft, steady eye contact → Open, confident, present
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Rapid scanning → Anxious, distracted, possibly disinterested
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Intense staring → May be dominant or controlling
Vanessa notes that gaze patterns reveal what the brain prioritizes. Are they focusing on you, or already calculating their exit?
🗣 2. Their First Words Reveal Emotional Style
First impressions are often verbal.
Pay attention to what they choose to say first.
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“I’m sorry I’m late…” → Possibly people-pleasing or anxious
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“Crazy weather, right?” → Seeking safe, low-risk conversation
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“Hi! So good to meet you.” → Warm, emotionally expressive
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“What do you do?” → Achievement- or status-oriented
How people open a conversation is often a mirror of their priorities.
👣 3. Body Language: Open vs. Closed
In 10 seconds, scan their body posture:
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Arms crossed, feet turned away → Closed-off, guarded
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Shoulders relaxed, palms visible → Open, trustworthy
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Chin up, hands on hips → Confident or dominant
Vanessa Van Edwards calls these “nonverbal social signatures.”
Even before speaking, people leak confidence or insecurity through posture.
😐 4. Facial Micro-Expressions = Hidden Emotions
Trained behavioral experts watch for micro-expressions — flashes of real emotion that leak out before someone masks them.
Here’s a quick decoding:
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Tight lips = Holding something back
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Furrowed brows = Confused or judgmental
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Eyebrows raised with a smile = Friendly, curious
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Smirk = May signal superiority or sarcasm
It’s fast — and real. Your job isn’t to judge, just to notice.
🕐 5. How They Use Time Tells You How They See You
Are they:
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Rushing the interaction?
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Checking their phone?
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Leaning in and mirroring your tempo?
The speed and attentiveness of someone’s first 10 seconds tells you how much they value the interaction — and sometimes, how they value people in general.
👁 Final Thought: It’s Not About Judging. It’s About Understanding.
Reading someone in 10 seconds isn’t about being manipulative.
It’s about being emotionally intelligent.
Vanessa Van Edwards says it best:
“When you know the code, you feel more confident in every interaction.”
People don’t hide who they are — they leak it in every glance, word, and gesture.
The trick is learning how to see it.
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